Category: Love

Want to Marry? Let God Choose!

Recently I have been pressing in with prayer on marriage. It is my desire to remarry and there are certain lessons I have learned recently. I would like to share them with you.

  1. God is MOST concerned about spiritual compatibility AND purpose compatibility more than anything else. If we are unequally yoked with an unbeliever or with someone whose spiritual level is different from ours then we will not make it as a couple. This is regardless of income, community status, corporate status or church status. Our purpose MUST line up as well. What were we called to do? Who are we supposed to be? With the wrong spouse in our lives we may get to our purpose but we may struggle a lot more to meet it. Or we may never do it at all. With the right person, things flow between both of you. There is an understanding and compatibility that resembles a glove that fits a hand well. Friction is at a minimum as you are both heading in the same direction. The tug-of-war feeling dissipates when the purpose of both marriage partners are aligned.
  2. Appearance and other temporal factors (such as skin tone, height, weight, earnings, education, etc.) matters more to us than it does to God. We sometimes miss God because of what we consider to be right for us. What if your perfect spouse is 5 inches taller than you and much darker than you would have preferred? What if he is a mechanic by day but a student of the Word in the evenings because he is preparing to preach the gospel? What if she doesn’t have long, flowing hair but she has creative ideas that can help you with your business? Many happily married people have stated that their spouses were right before their eyes, but until God unveiled their partner they thought he or she was just another person (or just a good friend).
  3. God does NOT need our help in finding a spouse. He does, however, need our cooperation. We need to prepare ourselves to receive who He has tailor-made just for us. This also means that our biases (racial, educational, financial, appearance, etc.) must be laid out before Him so that He can work on us. We may decide it is time to search for a spouse, so we do what we’ve always done: We get hooked up on blind dates, or we scope out the church for a brother or a sister. What I am learning is that these things can help us meet new people but we need to go to God DIRECTLY when seeking a spouse. Sometimes the person we think is right for us is not God’s best. He knows what we need. He knows WHO we need. And He knows what we need for the future. Our vision is only for the present, but God knows our entire life story and who would be best to help us fill in all the details and to share our experiences with us.
  4. Our dependence on God for a spouse shows that we trust Him fully with our lives. When we insist on finding the love of our lives, and after we do we present to Him who we chose (which is what I did the first time) then we must be willing to handle the consequences of such a decision. If we depend on God to select our mates, then He is held fully responsible for how things turn out. And trust me, if He has ANYTHING to do with it, the marriage will be a match made in Heaven! This does not mean disagreements won’t come, nor does it mean sickness or financial trouble won’t appear, but you will have such a strong foundation that you will not be shaken by what comes. And divorce won’t be on your mind, either.

Many of us surrendered our hearts to Jesus Christ to be Savior, but we will take a lifetime in allowing Him to become Lord over all aspects of our lives. Let us allow Him into this very important area, that of choosing a spouse for us.

Guests At The Party

Hopefully you’ve had the chance to attend at least one really good party, one that has a lot of pleasant memories.

Just imagine with me: You walked into the best party you’ve ever been to, and you found most of the guests (in their gowns and tuxedos) serving other guests, cleaning up spills and doing things they should not have to do during an event to which they were invited.

How much different is that from us? We have walked into the best Party ever, hosted by the King of kings and Lord of lords. He has placed us at his banqueting table of love. But when He turned His back for a moment, we got up and began cleaning up the room and taking away used napkins, etc. As He turned back around from what He was doing and found us in this frenzied, unnecessary activity (the activity of worry, unnecessary planning to “make sure” something works), He frowned at us in displeasure, but gently reminded us of this:

We are the Guests at this banquet! Why are we taking on the role of paid waitresses and waiters? Why can’t we accept that God did ‘all of this’ for our redemption? For our healing and deliverance? For everything we need for both now and later?

Trust is the key to believing that all God promised is true and MUST come to pass! Believe that you will receive and you shall have it.

So, put the napkins down and rest the used utensils aside.

God has called YOU to His banqueting table. You are one of the Guests of Honor, so why concern yourself with the things that only the Host should be concerned about?

Why do you allow your troubles to force you to step in and attempt to ‘help’ God out all the time? He doesn’t NEED our help! When we think we’re cleaning up and ‘helping out’, we’re actually making a bigger mess! We’re taking on a role we were not created to do!

Really!

May God help us as we resist the urge to clean up,

Michelle.

High Value and Honor (Dec 2007)

 

I haven’t written in a long time (I’m usually your weekly blogger type), but I felt the need to share something that isn’t new news, but just something that stood out for me this week.

A gentleman with whom I work was discussing with his peers his complex plan to impress his girlfriend of two years with just the right diamond in the best setting he can afford. He knew from almost the beginning that she was “the one”, but he just wanted to confirm it. Over the couple of years they’ve been together, they’ve vacationed, visited relatives from both sides and added many miles to automobiles to visit each other, etc. I remember conversations where he’d say to her, “I know you want me to come over, but you’re exhausted. Why don’t you rest tonight then I’ll stop by tomorrow.” I would sigh when I heard that…..

Now do not think for a moment that I’m endorsing everything I just mentioned; it was highlighted for me to make a point. Whatever and whomever we value, we will endorse its value with our honor. We will cherish it and make sure it has the best treatment. If what we value is a person, we will give him or her the best we can offer (financially, emotionally, physically and so on). Do you know what is the best you can offer to someone else aside from your money and taking them to the best restaurants or on the best vacations? Your time and your undivided attention.

Yes, your time. Your undivided attention. Honoring and respecting someone is best demonstrated with how attentively we care for the other person’s needs. We will bend over backwards to surprise our lover or our children (or our bosses) and just to see smiles of surprise, satisfaction or excitement on their faces is enough.

The absolute best situation is when this is a two-way street. Nothing hurts more when someone values another more highly than they are valued in return. Another thing I’ve realized is this: When we love ourselves and have a lot of self-respect, it is easy to love others unselfishly. The opposite is also true. Many who do not know how to show love and how to give respect and honor on others are usually having a difficult time loving and respecting themselves. When we love unselfishly then we don’t have to be on an intense search to find this honorable love for ourselves – it will somehow come to us. I think of a magnet when I state this.

As I am healing (both inside and out), I am preparing my heart for the love that places a high value on me. Of course, God already loves me in that way, but as I heal from my previously painful life and begin to love myself as I need to do, that love will come to me; I won’t need to search for it.

I will wait.

 

Am I My Brother’s Keeper?

Today we celebrate the birthday of Martin Luther King Jr., a man who dared to believe that non-violent protests against the segregation and mistreatment of Negros (now called African-Americans) would change the way they were treated. I began to reflect on what Martin Luther King Day means to me.

My reflections started when my son asked me a question earlier: “Mommy, why do you always care so much about what others do or what happens to others? To me that’s like minding someone else’s business.” So Mommy (that’s me) thought hard about what my son said. “Is it really so? Is it really someone else’s business?” I had to ask myself the question before I answered him.

Continue reading “Am I My Brother’s Keeper?”

The Journey Begins, One Step At A Time (Oct 2009)

I started on a new journey 4 years exactly, almost to the date. I remember my nervousness as I packed my things and those of my son and made a quick exit on a rainy fall night. I was nervous because it seemed crazy to those who were outsiders looking in that I would leave what seemed like a perfect situation. But those who lived inside knew that it was only a facade. Very little was real aside from the fact that we were human beings using our correct (“government”) names.

Continue reading “The Journey Begins, One Step At A Time (Oct 2009)”

Serving an Audience of One

Recently I reviewed some of the earlier stages in my life and I realized that I spent a great deal of time attempting to impress the people who impressed me. I spoke with a friend on the all-important Audience of One. This Audience is the only One I need to be concerned about when I do or say (or think about) anything. My only aim should be to please my Audience.

Continue reading “Serving an Audience of One”

The Attitude of Gratitude

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever. (1 Chronicles 16:34, NIV)

Continue reading “The Attitude of Gratitude”