Category: Life

The Problem with Loving a Certain Type when Dating

Those who know me know that I have a passion to help singles live authentic, fulfilled lives. I am also single (divorced), so I’ve incorporated lessons that I’ve learned into my own life. One lesson that a lot of singles are beginning to learn is that of loving the person whom God has sent to them.

Let me explain. Many of us (this seems to apply mostly to women) have a “type” that we want to fall in love with,  settle down with and have model-status babies with. You know, the tall, caramel-colored man with slightly curly hair, tight abs and a nice bank account. He lives in a gated community and drives a high-end luxury car or SUV (or both). His bank account is healthy, and he works at a Fortune 100 company. His aquiline features make every woman swoon. Yes. HIM. That one. FYNE!

Well, take a look around you. Are you living the type of life that you’re looking for? Are your abs tight? Are you also living in a gated community with a couple of high-end cars parked in your underground garage? Is your bank account healthy? Heck, are you healthy? If you aren’t what you’re looking for, don’t think for a moment that you will be able to get it. Sometimes people of different backgrounds or different pay grade levels may get together, but typically this relationship will work if the other person commits to working to raise their standards of living or to challenge themselves to achieve more out of life. Also, while still single, be willing to make life-changes just for YOU so that you can enjoy the selection of a different category of men.

And another thing: Make the effort to love those who have the capacity and the desire to love you with all their hearts. We’re learning that many of the tall, caramel, six-pack guys realize that they are a “nice catch” and make every effort not to get “caught” in a long-term relationship or marriage. If they know they can get 100 more women over the next year or two, why settle down with just one? We chase those types, and then the men who may not have everything in place but who have hearts of gold are overlooked, ignored and also disrespected by some of us. This also means we are overlooking at least 70% of the available men as the average height for most men is under 6 feet tall.

We are also known for “friend-zoning” good, single men because they aren’t our “type”. There’s that word again.  Just know that friendships build the strongest foundation for lovers, because when physical intimacy isn’t possible or when friction occurs, your friendship will be one of your main anchors within the relationship.

Let us pay closer attention to the men in our lives. Are you ignoring Mr. Right because he isn’t your “type”?

A Special Announcement!

Hi everyone,

I have been working on my second book and I shared quotes and reviews in earlier posts. Now I am ready to share the cover for my new book!

Here it is!

Cover for my 2nd book
My book cover!

The book launch will be announced soon! Stay tuned!

Thank you in advance for your support.

Excerpts from my New Book for Singles!

My excerpt Joshua P Smith QuoteBillie Miller Quote MGC Photo Quote MGC New Photo Quote B&W New Photo Quote   KPs Quote

Here are Reviews for my New Book for Singles!

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Two of these reviewers are husbands, and one is a single young man, yet all of them have indicated a need for this book.

I am thankful for this moment. Get ready to read a book that will enhance and possibly change your life!

Stay tuned! #July2014 #BookRelease 

To view a sample of the new book, click here to sign up! >>> http://eepurl.com/KpNkb

5 Powerful Reasons to Get Married

This post is currently featured on BMWK!

http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2014/03/5-powerful-reasons-to-get-married/

Many singles (especially our ladies) dream of the day when they will walk down the aisle with their lover and friend, exchange vows before friends and family, throw an amazing reception, and drive (or fly) away to a time of seclusion and romance for a week or two. But, beautiful wedding aside, are we ready to consider why we should get married? Is there more to marriage than a well-planned wedding and romantic honeymoon?

Let us take a close look at five great reasons to consider getting married.

1. Committed companionship. It has been said that no-one usually gets married to go through divorce. The traditional marriage vows state “‘Til death do us part” and honestly, most of us who want to marry desire to live out our vows until death. Knowing that your spouse is 100% committed to the marriage and that you are also as committed puts many fears to rest. It’s easy to be vulnerable and confident in all aspects of the marriage when both are assured that they are each other’s only lover and best friend.

2. Strong Families. So many statistics speak to the strength of a family where children are raised with both parents within the same home. The children are typically more confident/secure, do well in school and are typically healthier (especially emotionally). A family that is built on a strong marital foundation is powerful indeed!

3. Partnership. Instead of having to make all major decisions alone, both can sit down together and come up with creative, workable solutions. It is an amazing thing to watch couples who are able to strategize and make things flow. Ideas on how to save money, how to reduce debt, and how best to handle issues that arise makes it easier to face life’s challenges. For couples who work together like our founders Ronnie and Lamar, the power of partnership definitely has a deeper meaning. The skills and strengths of each spouse helps to balance business decisions and the execution of ideas, which can translate into significant financial security. Dependable partnership makes life truly enjoyable!

4. Personal supporter. Knowing that you have your own personal cheerleader in your corner makes it easier to face challenges or manage everyday life. Whether it is launching into a new career, battling an illness or raising children, the cheers from your personal supporter can make the difference between giving up and pushing forward one more day.

5. Exclusivity. With 100% commitment from both parties, exclusive sex is a powerful reason to desire marriage. With the rise in STDs and emotional complications from sexual soul ties, having an exclusive lover to enjoy whenever you want to is definitely something to treasure. When both partners have made the commitment to not go anywhere else for sexual satisfaction, sex becomes more enjoyable. There is an openness in exclusive marital relationships that isn’t typically found elsewhere.

Marriage is an exciting milestone that many singles desire to experience. Can you think of other powerful reasons to get married?

Launching Your Dream in the New Year

Do you have dreams and desires that you would like to see happen this year? What will you do to get there? Here are a few things you can do to get started.

  1. Write the Vision. If it isn’t written down, there is a high likelihood that it will not happen. Whether it is a list, a vision board or calendar entries, write down what you want to see happen to take you to the next level in your pursuits.
  2. Get a Life Coach or Mentor. Birthing your dream may require the assistance of someone who has already walked the path that you desire to take. Carefully observe others around you who are already successful at what you want to do and initiate that connection. Ensure that you show the life coach or mentor that you are serious about their investment in you, as their time is valuable. Make your meeting times a priority on your calendar, and complete all assignments as directed.  Remember that this is your vision, so act accordingly.
  3. Make Financial Investments in Your Dream. Whether it’s getting websites developed, opening bank accounts or purchasing equipment or tools for your dream, you must show the world that you believe in YOU. Never expect someone else to invest in you more than you are willing to invest in yourself and in your dream.
  4. Invest Time in Building Your Dream. You may have a mentor or life coach, but there are additional activities that only you can do to invest in your dream. If it includes writing a book, you will need to actually sit down and write or audio-record the content. If you are preparing to host seminars or webinars, then visual aids and presentations will need to be prepared and rehearsed.
  5. Surround Yourself with Like-Minded Dreamers. Working alongside others who are just as driven to birth their dreams is euphoric. They can become your accountability team, where you push each other along to where you need to be. These visionaries must be people you can trust to not divulge information or steal ideas. Keep your eyes open for such connections, as it helps you to maintain your perspective and can become the wind beneath your wings.
  6. Launch Your Dream! You’ve worked on it, and gained experience and valuable input from others. You have invested time and money in your dream, and you are ready to share it with the world. Launch your dream! Everything will not be perfect at the outset, and adjustments may be needed as time goes on. Consider launching to a test market before a wider audience is selected so you can modify as needed before more people see your final product.

So are you ready to launch your dream this year? Well, “On your mark! Get set! GO!”

The Memories…..

This weekend will be forever treasured in my heart. I am thankful for family members and friends who traveled from near and far to celebrate the life of my heart, Mother Nelson. I will never forget her care & concern, her stern conversations with me when I was out of line, or her light, cheerful laughter.

Grandma, we (my dad, my sisters, nieces, nephew & son) will always love you. You left an indelible mark on this world. Your legacy will always live on in the lives that you changed forever.

Here’s a photo of us singing “Precious Memories”.

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