Growing Pains: An Introspection

I am noticing a few things: Time seems to be speeding up at an alarming rate. As the days fly by I feel a growing sense of uneasiness/restlessness, which indicates that a seismic shift is about to take place in my life!

For the past few years I have transitioned in many ways. Externally there are visible changes (I should do before and after pics to really illustrate my point), but more importantly, there is an entire transformation in progress internally. I will attempt to summarize what stepping into my purpose looks like for me:

1. My friends – real friends – are few.

I am VERY cautious about who I allow to get close to me. Before, I was always concerned about alienating others. Now I am realizing that not everyone will be my “inner court” friend and confidante. I believe that God has brought some key people into my life to help me in reaching my destiny and fulfilling my purpose. He has also allowed the “scales” to fall off my eyes so I could see more clearly who needed to leave my inner circle. Separating from people you have been close to for a long time is never easy; pain almost always occurs, but if what is happening is in line with where God is taking you, then the pain is temporary and you will be better off in the end for doing it.

2. My desires are changing.

For as long as I can remember, I was the consummate people pleaser. I’ve never wanted to hurt feelings, but now I have a deeper desire to understand what God may be saying vs. what I or others may say, think or believe. I want to do what He wants. The change is gradual, but I believe it is visible.

3. I am more introspective.

I realize that every action, every decision, every word I utter will either draw me closer to my destiny or push me further away from where I need to be. With that realization, I am listening to myself more carefully and observing what I do, where I go and how I conduct myself in all situations. It’s almost like being outside of yourself; like having a mirror held up before you ALL the time. I will even ask myself “Why do you need to do THIS NOW? Is there another way to handle this situation?” Reviewing past decisions is another way for me to understand what my thought process was at that time. This exercise helps me not to waste any lessons I need to learn.

4. I am less likely to ask others for advice FIRST.

Not too long ago I would be on the phone placing all my life’s decisions (in gory detail) on the table for others to review or critique; it was as if I didn’t know ANYTHING for myself or about myself. What were my opinions on matters that would affect me most? What about asking God’s guidance in situations? Because I did this all the time, others were able to mold me into what THEY wanted me to be vs. who God wants me to be. So, back to my first point: When I discovered that I was being manipulated by several close ties, I had to sever them. This meant I also had to step up and take responsibility for WHO I AM BECOMING. I had to say “Yes” and “No” to the hard questions. No longer do I need to lean heavily on others’ spin on my situation. Who knows me better than me??? GOD, of course, but aside from Him, the obvious answer is ME. Then I also realized that not everyone who appears to be on your side is genuinely fighting on your team. Some would want nothing better than to derail my dreams and my destiny because it would make them look bigger and better if I fail. So, I am seeking less advice from others, and I am choosing more introspection and prayer instead.

5. I am now learning to face the results of my actions.

If I do what’s right, or wrong, there are outcomes for each type of action. Instead of running from my teachable moments, I am learning to glean important lessons. I am also learning to celebrate my positive or right actions; it is difficult for me to celebrate “wins” because usually I am prepping for the next step.

6. I am realizing that my destiny belongs to ME and to MY FUTURE GENERATIONS.

My son is now eight; he is my only child. I pray that what I plant will be the right type of crops that he will reap; I want my example to guide him during his childhood. I pray he knows how to make good decisions and how to allow God to take first place in his life. I pray that what I believe, know and experience will help to shape the lives of my future generations in positive ways.

7. I respect and defer to those who have more experience in life matters.

I always carry a writing tablet and a pen with me. I will whip it out on occasion to scribe wise words being imparted to me directly or should I happen to be within earshot of great advice or a memorable quote. Sitting under great leadership (such as at church) is a very wonderful experience for me. I LOVE to inhale wisdom and knowledge. But hearing (or writing down) the information is only the beginning. What I do with it matters MUCH more. My newest practice is to make every effort to place all I learned into practice and build on it, much like stepping-stones.

This list could go on infinitely, but summarily I realize that growth is taking place in the important areas of my life. I want to be ready for my breakthrough. Without adequate preparation I won’t be able to walk into my God-ordained destiny.

I know, without a doubt, that “life unusual” is just around the corner!!!!

 

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Author: shellylove2002

Hi! I hope you've enjoyed my posts on www.michellegcameronwrites.com. I am also the author of "It's My Life and I Live Here: One Woman's Story" and "I'm Single. Now What? 13 Steps on How to Live Single and Free." Both are available on www.michellegcameron.com/shop/ and also on Amazon, B&N and everywhere that eBooks are sold. My third book, "The Power of Purpose: Living Your Destiny" was released on March 21, 2016! It's also available on Amazon & B&N. Feel free to connect with me via Twitter @ShellyLove2002 & on Instagram at @michellegcameronllc See you again soon!

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