Living Beyond Expectations

All of us have had expectations of others, and we’ve had others place expectations on us. I remember that when I was younger, I was fascinated with doctors.  I would ask my doctors a lot of questions. I thought for some time that I would one day become an MD. After working at a nursing home one summer, and after not doing as well in college as I’d hoped, I came to the sad reality that becoming a doctor wasn’t something I had the stomach to do. My less than stellar grades were a part of it, but I always felt helpless as people got very ill or passed away. I would grieve the deaths of my nursing home patients as if they were family members, so I knew it would be too much for me to continue in that field.

When I broke the news to my family, they did not take it very well at first. The disappointment was palpable, and with no clear Plan B, I was uncertain of what the future held for me. I tried to find other ways to earn approval, since what they had hoped for would not become a reality. I tried to be the model daughter and granddaughter. I tried to be patient, respectful and responsible. The pressure started affecting me, and I could feel the weight on my shoulders.

This heavy weight of expectations spilled over into my romantic relationships, where certain criteria was expected to be displayed by my suitors. I cried for a very long time after letting go of someone who meant everything to me.

Do you realize the significance of the role that expectations plays in our lives? Our decision-making process typically includes, “What would my children think?” or “Would Mommy approve?” or “Would my boys laugh at me if I did this?” There are moments when we feel the desire to get away from the litany of expectations, spoken or unspoken. Things like, “We value education here. Everyone MUST have at least a Bachelor’s degree in this house.” Or, “No babies before a wedding.” Or, “Don’t you know what our name means in this family and in this community?” Those who don’t fit in are left floundering and struggling. Many times, the misfits are so uncomfortable that eventually they leave the nest to start their own lives, separated from people whom they’ve loved but who now struggle to love them in return.

Many have gone to tremendous measures to “keep the peace” or to preserve the family name, or to minimize ridicule from friends, even when their hearts were beating to a different drum. Joining in on a bullying session with friends so they don’t turn on you. Or, agreeing to an abortion because of the family rule: no children without a wedding ring. Or, hiding secret passions or pursuits that you know your crowd wouldn’t understand.

Well…..It’s been years since I had to break the news to my family that I wouldn’t become a doctor, and I believe that was the best decision I had ever made. I had the ability to pursue whatever career path I wanted, but I was not passionate enough about medicine to continue. Now, all these years later, I’ve found my voice. My keyboard has been my passion outlet, whether it’s through blogging, posting on social media, editing books, writing books, or encouraging a friend. My keyboard has helped me meet people I would not have met otherwise, and has open doors for me. My passionate writings and posts have inspired many people around the world. I’ve received inbox messages and phone calls that testify to this.

So here’s my advice: Don’t allow anyone to take away your voice because of expectations. Our lives aren’t meant to be lived in cookie-cutter mode. We are meant to live like snowflakes, as no two flakes are alike. We are uniquely created to live out our purpose. And, if you are unsure of your purpose or where to begin that journey, I wrote a short book that can help you. Visit HERE to order your copy. Then get a pen and a notepad, settle down, and begin the journey.

It’s never too early or too late to shrug off the expectations of others and pursue who you were created to be.

See you “there!”

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The Teleconference is OVER!

I am so excited! Now that the teleconference for new/aspiring authors is over, I’m relaxing for a few days before I begin to write the curriculum for the follow-up Virtual Writing Workshops.

Here are some of the comments I received about the FREE Teleconference on writing their first book:

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These are only a few of the many messages I received about the teleconference. The replay will be available soon so you can listen in on our conversation.

I’m in full anticipation of what I will experience as time will unveil all soon.

I’ll be back soon!

Singles Conference – Part 2

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Kenny Pugh signs his book after our Friday evening session
Minister Kenny Pugh & the people!
Minister Kenny Pugh & the people!
The people!
The people!
Bishop Hilliard speaks on "I Will Not Bow Down" on the opening night of the Singles Conference
Bishop Hilliard speaks on “I Will Not Bow Down” on the opening night of the Singles Conference
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The Cathedral International Singles Ministry and Min Kenny Pugh!

 

Bishop Hilliard meets Singles Conference Speaker Kenny Pugh!
Bishop Hilliard meets Singles Conference Speaker Kenny Pugh!
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Discussions and fun during bowling!
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We had so much FUN!!!!
Kenny Pugh is speaking on the Stand Up Life. This workshop was phenomenal!
Min Kenny Pugh is speaking on the Stand Up Life. This workshop was phenomenal!

We had a BLAST this past weekend!

The 2013 Singles Conference was bathed in prayer and HARD work. God was glorified and we had SO MUCH FUN!

Minister Kenny Pugh stayed with us all weekend. Bishop Hilliard launched the Singles Conference on Wed July 31 with the topic “I Will Not Bow Down”, then on Fri Aug 2 we had WORSHIP – Drama, Dance, Spoken Word and an interview with Min Pugh. He preached on “Embracing Your Season – Single and Saved to Serve”. ON POINT! We reconvened on Saturday morning for a workshop on “The Stand Up Life” based on Kenny’s book “Can You Do It Standing Up? A Different Position on Relationships”. The Q&A lasted at least one hour! We had to stop it or they would have been still asking questions today!

We took a break then met again at 6:00 pm for bowling, our last event!

On Sunday a few of us went to church as a group for 2 services. The presence of the Lord was amazing and God visited us. Then our guest, Min Pugh, left us to return to Atlanta GA.

We’ve grown as a ministry over the past week. Our hearts are overwhelmed. We’re EXCITED about where God is taking us!

Painful Goodbyes

It’s 1-1-11, The first day of a brand new year and a new decade. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Over the past few years I have made connections; some because of family ties (our family knew them, so by default I became connected), others because of work and others from churches I attended. Because I LOVE people dearly I am one who dislikes separation, strife or disagreements of any type – but I realize it is a part of life.

Continue reading “Painful Goodbyes”