5 Powerful Reasons to Get Married

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Many singles (especially our ladies) dream of the day when they will walk down the aisle with their lover and friend, exchange vows before friends and family, throw an amazing reception, and drive (or fly) away to a time of seclusion and romance for a week or two. But, beautiful wedding aside, are we ready to consider why we should get married? Is there more to marriage than a well-planned wedding and romantic honeymoon?

Let us take a close look at five great reasons to consider getting married.

1. Committed companionship. It has been said that no-one usually gets married to go through divorce. The traditional marriage vows state “‘Til death do us part” and honestly, most of us who want to marry desire to live out our vows until death. Knowing that your spouse is 100% committed to the marriage and that you are also as committed puts many fears to rest. It’s easy to be vulnerable and confident in all aspects of the marriage when both are assured that they are each other’s only lover and best friend.

2. Strong Families. So many statistics speak to the strength of a family where children are raised with both parents within the same home. The children are typically more confident/secure, do well in school and are typically healthier (especially emotionally). A family that is built on a strong marital foundation is powerful indeed!

3. Partnership. Instead of having to make all major decisions alone, both can sit down together and come up with creative, workable solutions. It is an amazing thing to watch couples who are able to strategize and make things flow. Ideas on how to save money, how to reduce debt, and how best to handle issues that arise makes it easier to face life’s challenges. For couples who work together like our founders Ronnie and Lamar, the power of partnership definitely has a deeper meaning. The skills and strengths of each spouse helps to balance business decisions and the execution of ideas, which can translate into significant financial security. Dependable partnership makes life truly enjoyable!

4. Personal supporter. Knowing that you have your own personal cheerleader in your corner makes it easier to face challenges or manage everyday life. Whether it is launching into a new career, battling an illness or raising children, the cheers from your personal supporter can make the difference between giving up and pushing forward one more day.

5. Exclusivity. With 100% commitment from both parties, exclusive sex is a powerful reason to desire marriage. With the rise in STDs and emotional complications from sexual soul ties, having an exclusive lover to enjoy whenever you want to is definitely something to treasure. When both partners have made the commitment to not go anywhere else for sexual satisfaction, sex becomes more enjoyable. There is an openness in exclusive marital relationships that isn’t typically found elsewhere.

Marriage is an exciting milestone that many singles desire to experience. Can you think of other powerful reasons to get married?

Another Black and Married with Kids Article!

Here is my newest post on Black and Married with Kids.com. I pray it encourages all who read it. http://www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2013/08/the-pain-was-unbearable-my-journey-to-healing-after-divorce/

Singles Conference – Part 2

Kenny Pugh signs his book after our Friday evening session
Minister Kenny Pugh & the people!
Minister Kenny Pugh & the people!
The people!
The people!
Bishop Hilliard speaks on "I Will Not Bow Down" on the opening night of the Singles Conference
Bishop Hilliard speaks on “I Will Not Bow Down” on the opening night of the Singles Conference
The Cathedral International Singles Ministry and Min Kenny Pugh!


Bishop Hilliard meets Singles Conference Speaker Kenny Pugh!
Bishop Hilliard meets Singles Conference Speaker Kenny Pugh!
Discussions and fun during bowling!
We had so much FUN!!!!
Kenny Pugh is speaking on the Stand Up Life. This workshop was phenomenal!
Min Kenny Pugh is speaking on the Stand Up Life. This workshop was phenomenal!

We had a BLAST this past weekend!

The 2013 Singles Conference was bathed in prayer and HARD work. God was glorified and we had SO MUCH FUN!

Minister Kenny Pugh stayed with us all weekend. Bishop Hilliard launched the Singles Conference on Wed July 31 with the topic “I Will Not Bow Down”, then on Fri Aug 2 we had WORSHIP – Drama, Dance, Spoken Word and an interview with Min Pugh. He preached on “Embracing Your Season – Single and Saved to Serve”. ON POINT! We reconvened on Saturday morning for a workshop on “The Stand Up Life” based on Kenny’s book “Can You Do It Standing Up? A Different Position on Relationships”. The Q&A lasted at least one hour! We had to stop it or they would have been still asking questions today!

We took a break then met again at 6:00 pm for bowling, our last event!

On Sunday a few of us went to church as a group for 2 services. The presence of the Lord was amazing and God visited us. Then our guest, Min Pugh, left us to return to Atlanta GA.

We’ve grown as a ministry over the past week. Our hearts are overwhelmed. We’re EXCITED about where God is taking us!

Celibacy – Why I Live That Life

I haven’t yet written about my celibate life and why I’m on this journey for eight years so far. So here’s why.

1. I am a Christian, and I firmly believe in the Bible. Hebrews 13:4, NKJV states: “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” I know it’s considered ancient, outdated and very “Cleaverish” to believe in or to practice celibacy based on the Bible, but I also have other reasons which are listed below.

2. I don’t have to live in fear of picking up a STD or getting pregnant unexpectedly. I know there are “precautions” that we can use and many of them work well when used properly, but there are MANY people who thought they were safe and were still “caught”. As one of my social media friends pointed out recently, we save a LOT of money when we don’t have to purchase birth control or condoms or take frequent tests to ensure that we did not pick up a disease. I don’t think the 15 minutes of pleasure is worth the angst that follows thereafter.

3. My heart is free. The issue of soul ties where we are intimately connected to everyone we’ve ever slept with is REAL. Having to untangle my heart and my soul from several men is, thankfully, something I am not struggling with at this time. I had to work through that issue when my divorce was finalized, which was a tough situation. With healing comes the realization that I don’t want to go down that path again unnecessarily (or EVER).

4. My conscience is clear. It is human nature to rationalize what we want to accept, whether it is the right thing to do or not. I’m very hard on myself in many areas of life because I want to reach higher and grow wiser and stronger in Christ. If I need to justify my behavior to feel good about myself even at the expense of my testimony and my relationship with God, I think I would lose that fight.  Because God created marriage as the context for intimacy and procreation, as a single woman I have asked Him to help me honor my vow to live out His Word.

5. I’m setting an example for my son and for others to follow. We can live fulfilled, pleasurable and productive lives without sex (which includes masturbation and viewing pornography). We are free to pursue our purpose when we are not focusing all our energies on satiating our feelings and desires.

Are there challenges in maintaining celibacy? Of course! I’m human and I was married before, so I know what intimacy is like. Even before I was married (I was a virgin on my wedding day) I still struggled to maintain my virginity up to the age of 25.

Some of us have asked why has God given us these urges if we weren’t supposed to act on them. I think of it in this way: We are given appetites for food, for sex and for other things. If we act on our appetites inappropriately, we reap the consequences of those actions. If we eat at the wrong times (e.g. too late at night) or if we eat the wrong foods OR too much food, we will experience weight and health issues. If we eat in the proper context (eating to live versus living to eat), we maintain a healthy weight with fewer health issues. In that same way, practicing restraint in sexual activities and keeping it within the context that God created it for (which is marriage) makes it fun and a GOOD thing! When children are conceived in a healthy marriage there is a secure nuclear unit, which is the ideal home environment for them.

I am determined to keep the big picture always in the forefront. I am willing to sacrifice a momentary pleasure that has the ability to derail the rest of my life and I am choosing instead to WAIT until God sends Mr. Right in my direction.

I recommend these pages for more information and encouragement on your journey to celibacy:







“Are You Ready for Love?” on the Chat Kafe Blog

Hi everyone,

I am STILL writing! Check out my latest post on the Chat Kafe Blog:


The Journey Begins, One Step At A Time (Oct 2009)

I started on a new journey 4 years exactly, almost to the date. I remember my nervousness as I packed my things and those of my son and made a quick exit on a rainy fall night. I was nervous because it seemed crazy to those who were outsiders looking in that I would leave what seemed like a perfect situation. But those who lived inside knew that it was only a facade. Very little was real aside from the fact that we were human beings using our correct (“government”) names.

Continue reading “The Journey Begins, One Step At A Time (Oct 2009)”

He Is For Me

He is for Me

If He walks with God

If He shares His heart with God

If He is unashamed to be associated with God.


He is for Me

If He has placed the past behind Him

If He has decided to walk with His head held high

If He won’t be deterred by setbacks and barriers.


He is for Me

If He is determined to handle Me with dignity

If He has decided to stay with Me, and with Me only

If He has asked God to guide Him in how He can love Me completely.


He is for Me

If He remains accountable

If He remains humble

If He keeps Himself unspotted from this world’s enticements.


He is for Me

When He walks into a room and sees only Me

When His heart beats faster only when He sees Me

When He has asked God for Me.


Then, and only Then

Is He for Me.