The Problem with Loving a Certain Type when Dating

Those who know me know that I have a passion to help singles live authentic, fulfilled lives. I am also single (divorced), so I’ve incorporated lessons that I’ve learned into my own life. One lesson that a lot of singles are beginning to learn is that of loving the person whom God has sent to them.

Let me explain. Many of us (this seems to apply mostly to women) have a “type” that we want to fall in love with,  settle down with and have model-status babies with. You know, the tall, caramel-colored man with slightly curly hair, tight abs and a nice bank account. He lives in a gated community and drives a high-end luxury car or SUV (or both). His bank account is healthy, and he works at a Fortune 100 company. His aquiline features make every woman swoon. Yes. HIM. That one. FYNE!

Well, take a look around you. Are you living the type of life that you’re looking for? Are your abs tight? Are you also living in a gated community with a couple of high-end cars parked in your underground garage? Is your bank account healthy? Heck, are you healthy? If you aren’t what you’re looking for, don’t think for a moment that you will be able to get it. Sometimes people of different backgrounds or different pay grade levels may get together, but typically this relationship will work if the other person commits to working to raise their standards of living or to challenge themselves to achieve more out of life. Also, while still single, be willing to make life-changes just for YOU so that you can enjoy the selection of a different category of men.

And another thing: Make the effort to love those who have the capacity and the desire to love you with all their hearts. We’re learning that many of the tall, caramel, six-pack guys realize that they are a “nice catch” and make every effort not to get “caught” in a long-term relationship or marriage. If they know they can get 100 more women over the next year or two, why settle down with just one? We chase those types, and then the men who may not have everything in place but who have hearts of gold are overlooked, ignored and also disrespected by some of us. This also means we are overlooking at least 70% of the available men as the average height for most men is under 6 feet tall.

We are also known for “friend-zoning” good, single men because they aren’t our “type”. There’s that word again.  Just know that friendships build the strongest foundation for lovers, because when physical intimacy isn’t possible or when friction occurs, your friendship will be one of your main anchors within the relationship.

Let us pay closer attention to the men in our lives. Are you ignoring Mr. Right because he isn’t your “type”?

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